yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
