physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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