I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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