i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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