a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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