I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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