Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize