seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
