That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
