You're my little dorito
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
