Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
