....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
