he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
