Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
