well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
