Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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