David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
