got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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