am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
