wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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