nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
