I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
