Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
BRING THE BAGELS
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
