Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Two words: blizzard sex
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
