there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
love makes seman taste better
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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