why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
