I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
