oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Randomize