i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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