Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
