The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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