Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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