she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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