Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize