you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
