dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
