You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
tell me about the fingering
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