maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
