At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
