I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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