i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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