and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.