I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
