You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
should my penis look like a turkey
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
