she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
