I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
