five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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