we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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