No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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