My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
