So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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