Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
