life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
