Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
