Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
why didn't you poke me back
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
