im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm just crazy horny about you
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
