The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
