i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
