people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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