my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
