a queef is a wish your heart makes.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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