I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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