I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
