At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
