I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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